Dear Hotel Guests,
When asking me to bring you pillows "immediately," you might as well be saying "take your time" because that's what it translates to in my head. Toilet paper, that I can understand, but not bedding when you've had hours to determine extras are needed.
Sincerely,
Friendly Neighborhood Desk Clerk
P.S. Sorry if they're kind of flat... it seems they're all I could find.
Dear Hotel Guests,
Just because you're enormously fat, does not mean you are handicapped. "I'm handicapped, I need a room right by the elevator." You could instead not lie, and just request a room near the elevator, I'll accommodate you either way. Or how about you don't "forget" your handicapped parking sticker, and let the old woman on oxygen and a walker park there.
Sincerely,
Friendly Neighborhood Desk Clerk
