Define Handicapped

Dear Hotel Guests,

Just because you're enormously fat, does not mean you are handicapped. "I'm handicapped, I need a room right by the elevator." You could instead not lie, and just request a room near the elevator, I'll accommodate you either way. Or how about you don't "forget" your handicapped parking sticker, and let the old woman on oxygen and a walker park there.

Sincerely,
Friendly Neighborhood Desk Clerk