Dear Hotel Guests,
When I tell you the entire hotel is sold out, I mean that every single room is reserved for someone who is not you. No, we don’t have a suite or just a twin bed in some corner. No I can’t just “squeeze you in.” Sold out, full, no vacancy, booked solid. No matter how many ways you ask, the fact is that there is no space available, and you can’t have a room.
Your sneaky tactics do not work either. “Have there been any cancellations?” If we did, then we wouldn’t be sold out! “Will there be any cancellations?” I’m sorry, my crystal ball is coming in fuzzy today, try again later. Using sad puppy eyes and the ever adorable and witty “Is there any room at the inn for a weary traveler” doesn’t work either.
Once I complete my architectural, carpentry, electrical and plumbing certifications, I will be sure to start installation of that extra wing, especially for you!
Friendly Neighborhood Desk Clerk
P.S. It was a joke when I said you could sleep on the couch. Please leave now.