Sunday, January 20, 2013

If you know so much, why don't you stand here?

Dear Hotel Guests,

We’re glad you choose to stay with us when your company sends you away on travel multiple days each month. We understand that being away from home more than not is rough, and that this really is your home away from home. This dedication makes you one of our elite guests, and for that we are eternally grateful!

What this does not make you is “more informed” on the hotel policies than I am. Your mischievous giggle indicates you think you are making a hilarious joke. However, when we are not even discussing anything to do with “hotel policy” and you just drop that in, I get the feeling you aren’t actually joking.

Unless you indicate in any way that you also work for my hotel, (which you don’t, because you’d be too busy actually working in a hotel to gain elite membership at the hotel,) then don’t tell me you know how to do my job better than me.

And if you do, in fact, know how to perform my job better than I do, why, pray tell, are you coming to me with questions that even the new hires would know?  

Once again, we appreciate your loyalty!

Friendly Neighborhood Desk Clerk

Tuesday, January 8, 2013

Your future is looking a little inky.

Dear Hotel Guests,

I know this may come as a surprise to you, but the ink level in your printer does not, in any way, impact an online reservation being fulfilled. Knowing this gem can save you the embarrassment of making a phone call such as the following:

Guest: “Hello, I wanted to check to see if my reservation went through.”
Me: “Certainly, let me look that up for you.”
Guest: “You see, I made the reservation online, but I’m not sure if it went through or not. I have no ink in my printer, so I don’t think it worked.”
Me: “…. To the best of my knowledge, ma’am, there is no correlation between printer ink levels and whether an online reservation processed.

Thank you 2013, I’m thinking we have a promising year of tales ahead.

Friendly Neighborhood Desk Clerk