Checked out of sanity!

Dear Hotel Guests,

Please don’t be alarmed if you check out of your room, come back hours later, and find your room has already been cleaned and prepared for the next guest. This is normal, it means the housekeepers are doing a stellar job.

Don’t be appalled that housekeeping “took the tip and everything”. Tip-ically, once the room is empty and you have left the hotel, the unfortunate soul who has to clean up after your sorry self takes your offering as a consolation prize for a job well done.

Once you “check out” your reservation has ended, and any ownership you may have felt towards the room is forfeited. Just because we have an official designated time of departure, doesn’t mean you can come and go as you please after checking out at front desk. If this is your desire, wait until you are done to check out.

We appreciate your understanding.

Sincerely,

Friendly Neighborhood Desk Clerk

Splish splash, I was taking my time!

Dear Hotel Guests,

The pool closes at a specific time. This time is communicated when you check in, in all of our collateral, and in the pool room itself. The clock is even set five minutes fast in there to ensure the pool is vacant at closing time.

If you choose to repeatedly disregard all of these notices, and inform me that you planned on using said pool until I came in to lock it up whilst a giggle, even though you knew it closed ten minutes prior, then please, for the love of sanity, pick up the pace in exiting the pool.

This isn’t the time for changing outfits, doing manicures, soaking for just a couple extra minutes. It is time to leave. You have a hotel room in which you can do all those things, and more! I don’t really like standing around in a 90 degree, humid room, while in full front desk uniform, waiting ten minutes for your toesies to dry so I can shut off the lights.

Thanks for your consideration, and upon exit, be extra careful, as the floor is in fact slippery. You just splash on out of here, mmkay?

Sincerely,

Friendly Neighborhood Desk Clerk

A gold medal in the hotel obstacle course.

Dear Hotel Guests,

When waiting for the elevator, and you see someone trying to exit said elevator with a large item, such as a folding bed or a luggage cart, it is normal practice to move out of the path of the doors.

Sometimes obstacle courses are fun, but not when you could get a bad score for “accidentally” running over one of the hindrances. As much as we would like to, it is unfortunately frowned upon. Thank you for understanding.

Sincerely,

Friendly Neighborhood Desk Clerk