Dear Hotel Guests,
Look what you've driven me to do! An open letter, about your bright shining faces. I used to be such a sweet, sweet thing, until you. "Used to be?" you say, "But you've been so kind." Ah, yes, kind. Number one lesson I'd like you to remember, is that, unfortunately, it's part of the job description.
So in order to keep me sane, with your wisdom filled inquiries, and delightful demands, I am writing to your fellow travelers. Simple set of guidelines to lead them through their time here. Shame though, for you I fear it's too late.
Enjoy your stay, and if you have any questions, don't hesitate to ask. There's someone at the desk at all hours.
Friendly Neighborhood Desk Clerk