Dear Hotel Guests,
As awesome as it would be to speed up and down the corridors in a miniature waste removal truck, we do not offer room-side trash pickup.
You’re not at a five star hotel where poor bellhops have to stand alert making sure not a strand of carpet is out of place, who will jump in to whisk your waste away the moment your door opens. And you’re not camping out in some dimly lit dump of a motel where fresh bags of garbage would be an improvement to the decor. You selected to stay at a nice, midrange hotel, where there is the understanding that a butler is not part of the package. You’ll turn down your own bed, park your own auto, and help yourself to cookies that aren’t served on a gold platter.
So the next time you have garbagio of which to dispose, go the extra yards, and find a trash bin for your leftover shrimp scampi if it’s too odiferous for your in room waste bin. Tossing it out into the hall when no one is looking isn’t very nice and if you couldn’t handle the smell, what makes you think your neighbors want to either. Or bring it to me, I will toss it for you, or direct you to a rubbish receptacle.
However, things might change if we ever invest in a miniature waste removal truck that I can peruse the halls in at top velocity.
Friendly Neighborhood Desk Clerk