Dear Hotel Guests,
I understand you want to be close to the elevator. Segways weren’t the hit everyone thought they would be, so walking thirty feet from the lifts to get to your room is a lot to ask. That’s why when you have this preference set on your profile, and you call to make sure we know you’re lazy and don’t like having to move yourself significant distances, and then check again upon arrival for good measure, we make sure your room is actually very near the elevator.
We are great and hospitable and attentive to your needs! We did what you wanted, to a tee! Please hold your applause; I know you’ll give us a standing ovation.
Alas, never the case. You hear the elevator dinging all night! You witness people pit patting down the hall! It is far too close, and you demand a room change to ensure you receive plenty of beauty sleep.
Sigh. I didn’t realize you wanted to be near the elevator, but not too near! Forgive me, beloved patron, for I once again failed at the fine art of mind reading.
Friendly Neighborhood Desk Clerk