Sunday, January 26, 2014

Indecisiveness is the Nice Way to Put It

Dear Hotel Guests,

When you call seeking a rate quote, please have, at minimum, a date range in mind. A week, a month, and if you can’t narrow it down to that, even a season would also assist us in providing you with the most accurate estimate. A room “oh, anytime really,” can vary by literally hundreds of dollars.

If you can’t figure out the month, season, or even year you want to be here, maybe tell me why you want to come and I can use my fabled psychic abilities to help you determine the most appropriate time for your visit. 

You want to visit so you can complain that your favorite restaurant that you traveled here to eat at is closed? Must be January. Watch the leaves change color and fall off the trees and bemoan the nip in the air? Autumn will do you just fine. You want to lounge on the beach in 80 degree weather,  but not have to deal with traffic all while paying hostel prices? I believe the month you want is called Imagin-ary. 

 And when the moment comes when you decide to bite the bullet and make an actual real life reservation, for an actual date in the future, for the sake of my sanity, please provide me with said date. 

We appreciate your patience and understanding as we try to be patient and understanding with you, when it seems you can’t even understand what you actually want.


Friendly Neighborhood Desk Clerk


  1. Loved it! Aren't people just too stupid for words? I would rather work at a kennel!

  2. I would, too! At least there your guests don't talk back and when they do it's with a wagging tail.