Friday, April 4, 2014

The Symptoms of Deskclerkitis

Dear Hotel Guests,

Since lists are all the rage on the internet, I've decided to grace you with one, in the event reading paragraphs has become too much work and you haven’t hired a robot to do that task for you yet. There will be no pictures, so try to bear with me.

Seven Signs I May Have Deskclerkitis (n. a disease caused by working too long as a desk clerk, where the job infiltrates the brain, rendering the victim wacky.)

1.      I look at the time sometimes, and immediately think of the room type associated with that particular number. It’s 3:43 in the afternoon? That means it’s king smoking suite o’clock. Disturbing, I know.
2.      I enter the back office unlock code into the number pad to unlock the door at home. Sometimes more than once.
3.      I hear phones ringing when they aren’t. I’ve come running out of the back office to answer nonexistent calls, and on really terrible nights, when I lay in bed, their ghostly sounds echo through my head.
4.      When my personal phone actually rings, I have to consciously not answer “Good morning and thank you for calling the hotel. This is Friendly Neighborhood Desk Clerk speaking, how may I assist you?” Sometimes if I’m feeling particularly frisky, I actually will answer “Thank you for calling my phone, this is me speaking, how may I assist you,” much to the chagrin of those around me and those on the other end of the phone.
5.      Nine times out of ten, when I am filling out forms online, unrelated to work, I enter the postal code for work instead of my own.
6.      Incidentally, I sometimes wonder if I have missed out on opportunities because I accidentally gave someone the work phone number or entered it in as my own on an application or contest form.
7.      I think I have sat in a bar in my work uniform just as many times, if not more, than I have while dressed appropriately for such a setting. The bartenders and other patrons undoubtedly wonder from which red carpet I strolled. Or they think I stole the curtains from the retirement home and formed them into clothing. One or the other.

I’m sure this list could go on and on. I mean just the fact that I had this list in my head in the first place is probably a major red flag. But that aside, on with the day. Thank goodness it is Friday, because I have a real weekend off ahead. Hallelujah.


Friendly Neighborhood Desk Clerk

1 comment:

  1. Ah, the joys of being a desk clerk! More fun than lots of jobs, tho!